Dear Mum On Ketamine

I’m still processing my time at a Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy training in August 2023…..however, here is part one for you.

Astrologically, there was prominence in the area of my chart around the parts of me that have been exiled off, and aspects of my lineage were refugees. It is time to come home.

For those of you who are interested, I took a 300mg rapidly-dissolving troche, with a 200mg booster.

Part 1

Dear Mum,

Two years ago, you finally said the words that I’ve been longing to hear my entire life: I’m proud of you, Linda.

Last week, in a ketamine haze, I had a realization: No one’s ever told you that they’re proud of you.

I reached over to my Sitter and pulled her towards me: “I know you’re not my mother, but roll with me, ok?”

I then proceeded to, out loud, whisper the weightiness and mightiness of your strength and suffering that burdened me with a love whose labor I could never emulate or repay.

Tears were streaming down my face. “Mama, I’m so proud you, Mama. We came to Australia with nothing. Look at what you’ve made of your life, from nothing. I’m so proud of you, Mama.”

My Sitter was crying. The perfect response - a human response. I’ve never seen you cry, Mum.

“Mama, it’s over now mama, isn’t it? Look at what you’ve made of your life, Mama. We made it, Mama. You did it, Mama. I’m so proud of you.”

My Sitter was stroking my forehead, and through our tears, I could hear. “We made it, little one. We made it.”

Part 2

Two days later, I had an Intramuscular Ketamine experience: 50mg + booster of 40mg.

The energy of my mother was still lingering with me.

Within 35 seconds, I became aware. That during the seemingly never-ending moments

of inescapable terror, that during periods of relentless despair, poverty and hopelessness, your only prayer to The Universe was a singular desperation:

Please, I beg of you.

Please let our children live.

I will gladly give my life if you can ensure that our children live.

How is it possible to carry the immensity and intensity of that love in one body?

In my little body?

A love that I’ve fought against my entire life.

The armoring around my heart broke open and I was transported to The Before Times…when all there was is the fabric of love that weaves its way through all of us.